The foray into the worlds of the "Bros"

Now, I know most of you reading this know me fairly well, and for many of you this involves having known me for a long time.  For those who either haven't known me for a long time, or simply don't know me well, know this: I am a nerd.  I find no shame in this fact - being a nerd is awesome.  There are some people who don't quite understand this though, and I'm okay with that, and there are definitely aspects of normal life that I don't understand because I am a nerd.  I am unathletic and uncoordinated.  I am not good at any sport (video games don't count).  I don't enjoy watching sports of any kind (with the exception of world cup soccer, and the super bowl).  I don't understand the appeal of dancing.  I generally don't understand the appeal of going out at all, come to think of it.  I would rather drink for cheap or not at all than go to a bar and get blasted while listening to music that is too loud.  I clam up around groups larger than about 6 (even among my own friends sometimes) and delve into the realm of the socially awkward.  I am not a conversationalist, unless the topic is something I am passionate about.  I am good at listening, and do not like the sound of my own voice.  My idea of a good time is hunching around a tiny table with 3 or 4 friends and playing an obscure card game over beer and pizza (though lately, that would have to be converted to the no-homo version of wine and cheese) or watching a movie that we may or may not enjoy, frequently pausing it (or skipping that step) and making critical comments about it - best if it is sci-fi or fantasy related, but it doesn't have to be.  One of my hobbies is looking up things I think might be interesting on Wikipedia to see how biased its assessment is - and relishing in every discovered grammar/spelling error.  I am a gamer, and I tend to play games until there's nothing left in them - usually playing through long games multiple times just to try something new.  I also love to discuss games with people - you see, as a nerd, I view (some) games as a form of art, and not merely entertainment.  Some games have themes as much as any good movie does (though often interrupted by long bouts of "kill this monster 100 times until you get what you need") and dissecting the intricacies of these themes is often as rewarding - if not more-so - than the game-play.  I don't understand the appeal of going to a concert.  I enjoyed math in high school.  I love to play chess.

What's the point of all this?  Well, it's something that I haven't discussed much (though may have touched on).  The gym is a weird place for me.  It's crowded, and most of the people there are not nerds.  The things you do at the gym are not nerdy things, so they don't feel very natural for me (especially the movements).  People try to start conversations with you about things you don't feel comfortable talking about, like football, or your bench-press form (No one has brought up the subject of diet with me yet, but probably because that would be something I would feel comfortable discussing).  Some of the people wear douchebag cologne while working out, which I always find really distracting because it seems kind of comical to smell like anything but BO at the gym.  Others are simply douchebags in other ways and are literally walking stereotypes (complete with blaring bro-rock from their iPods).  Old men walk around naked in the locker rooms.  Whenever anyone spots you on bench, they practically shout empty words of encouragement like, "Baby weight, you got this!" when I just died on the last set doing fewer reps than they expect me to get (I find this especially funny because when I spot people I usually say nothing until afterwards, when it feels abnormal to not give them some sort of bro-ish message of encouragement - usually a simple, "that was good.") [I'm not kidding].  Crossfit people go to normal gyms sometimes and do box jumps and funny pullups (that's how you can spot the crossfitters). 

I don't mean to bring up any of this to complain, but I think it's important to understand this idea of unfamiliar territory.  It feels abnormal, pointless, uncomfortable, and intimidating.  It hurts and it makes you smell bad and it sucks up your time.  But its not all bad news - it helps me sleep like a rock, and when I do have to run to catch a ferry, I don't collapse on the first available seat and practically black out anymore.  Even so, I had a hard time going to the gym for the first few months (this is some time in the past now).  In fact, back in January the only reason I really started going regularly again was because my brother promised to work out with me...  Then he had to go and get a job - I tried to tell him his kids could fend for themselves, but he just wouldn't listen.

Anywho, it's time to turn down the self-pity.  The gym isn't really that bad.  Even for the socially awkward, all you have to do is crank up your iPod and start running.  And putting all the uncomfortable stuff aside, there is occasionally a conversation to be had that's actually worth having.  I've seen lots of friends from high school that I haven't seen in years, and lost track of how many laps I've walked while chatting with them.

Plus, when you actually start noticing results, especially when you can quantify them, it's really cool.  This past Thursday (that's the 12th of April for posterity's sake) marks the first time I have ever bench-pressed more than my body weight - 165lbs, 5 times (7 with help from a spotter).  The same day I also did 10 pullups in one go.  Some time before that, I ran an 8-minute mile (I could have run it faster, quite easily I think.  The 8 minute mile hardly even phased me).  I've also a gained a little weight... I'm at 162lbs now, which puts me 7 pounds over where I started this diet thing (I think?).  Like I've said before, I couldn't actually say for certain whether or not it's fat... but I think it is likely not primarily fat...  Let's hope not at least XD

Onto our next subject...

I'm not fantastic at cooking vegetables.  I have about one fewer year of veggie-cooking experience among other things...  But veggies have always seemed to me to be a bit of an after thought, so cooking with them has never seemed to come naturally.  They are a side-dish.  You don't make a broccoli dinner, you steam it and serve it with a steak.  You rip up some leaves and put them on a plate and call that a "salad."  Sometimes there's not even any preparation at all - "eat these carrots kid, they're good for your eyes."

Well anyway, I mentioned last time that I intended to add (some) veggies into my diet, and I have indeed done so.  I have eaten some broccoli and some asparagus and some celery since then (and also some peanut butter).  Not too much, I'm trying to keep it normal, of course.  I also haven't been taking my multi-vitamins (technically, with the veggies, I shouldn't need them - and should barely need them at all anyway). Of course, the broccoli was always drenched heavily in sour cream, the asparagus was almost literally swimming in bacon grease (it sprouted arms and legs, but couldn't figure out the motions) and the celery was really just a vessel for sour cream or peanut butter (and that's all celery is anyway, unless you're using it's juices to get some tasty nitrites into meats and soups).  Also, no benefits from fiber have been noticed.

I also may be turning into a hipster...  I bought those funny toe shoes, Vibram five-fingers aka Hipster shoes for the hipster who's into barefoot running  (I got them on special sale for 50 bucks - there's no way I'd pay full price).  I'm not into barefoot running because I'm afraid I will get hepatitis or worms or AIDS, but I decided to try these shoes almost out of desperation.  My old walking shoes were falling apart, and my running shoes fit me poorly and make my feet hurt besides.  I have wide, flat feet, so my old running shoes were about a half size too large, and my feet just kinda shifted around inside of them when I ran.  When I tried on the Vibrams, they fit snugly, without crushing my forefoot every time I took a step.  It was sort of a eureka moment - shoes can actually fit one's feet?!  Impossible!  It's almost enough to make me change my opinion of runners... Wait -who am I kidding?  You and I both know that anyone who actually enjoys running around for more than about 10 minutes at a time is literally insane.  But at least now I feel like I could do that without having to baby my feet for the next couple of days.

My favorite thing about the shoes though is whenever I catch someone staring at them - it reminds me of the old Norwegian saying: "How do you spot the extroverted Norwegian?  He's the one looking at your shoes!"  [For those who don't get the joke, the rest of us Norwegians are so introverted that we regularly look at our own shoes, but when we are feeling adventurous, we may glance at another's footwear.  The joke will make sense if you are Norwegian.]

Aside from being nice to run in, the Vibrams also suck if it is even remotely damp outside.  They may have been a fine investment for exercising, but I may have to find an alternative shoe for rainy weather...

I do have a food adventure to share!  Ever had liver sausage?  It sounds kinda gross, I know, but it is an animal product with vitamin C, and it's not as nasty as my own attempts at preparing liver.  Plus it's loaded with vitamins that aren't exactly easy to get from other (non-animal) sources [admittedly, if you are a meatetarian you probably don't have fat-soluble vitamins worries - or any micronutrient worries, come to think of it].  But it does come in a nasty tube.  Kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies to scrape it out with a butter knife and smear it on (lol) salami.

I'm out of ideas and this post is more than long enough.  Until next time!