I hate hipsters...

So... The title of the blog and the title of this first post may seem entirely unrelated, but you've probably never heard of my reasoning...

I have a love-hate relationship with hipsters. Their lifestyle is essentially anathema to mine. They strive for attention in all areas of life, whereas I generally try to remain unknown or at least anonymous. But on one occasion I was saved from needing to draw attention to myself by a hipster - an occasion for which I am entirely grateful. Also, hipsters are an endless source of people-watching enjoyment -- nothing beats seeing an alleged man in all black on a summer day in a wool coat, a scarf, a hat, and leather boots in tight pants carrying a large coach bag smoking a designer cigarette - ironically of course.

But there is one small area of life in which hipsters and I have an overlap. Both myself and hipsters have an inexplicable obsession with telling people about the diet we have adopted. Of course, my diet has absolutely nothing to do with saving the planet or being kind to animals (as I know that an individual's personal vendetta against an "evil industry" will have no true effect, except maybe to create yet another evil industry. Not to mention the hilarious concept of being nice to a creature that you fully intend to murder, dismember, and devour - it doesn't matter if you name it Lardie and rub its belly if you intend to stuff it into yours after you kill it). Mine has entirely to do with an obsession with knowledge and information -- I couldn't find much of any (true scientific) information on the effects of eating a meat-only diet, and with the preponderance of hip vegan diets I decided to test the effects of eating only animal products on none other than myself.

With that said, I would like to credit hipsters with encouraging me to try this diet in their own unique little way. I would like to add, though, that my experiment is not truly the opposite of a hipster's vegan experience. Like my blog's title may suggest, I'm not a skinny hipster -- I fucking love food. I didn't do this to be philosophical and eschew the evil and cruel eating of voiceless masses of plant material. I didn't do this so I could tell all my friends how I felt a new spiritual connection to the Earth because I wasn't killing plant life. I wanted to eat bacon every morning. I wanted steak and eggs. And I didn't, for even a moment, want to give up garlic and celery and soups and olive oil. Understandably, I'm not going to tell you that my new diet has changed every aspect of my life for the better, or hide the hardships -- or, for that matter, the failures and disgusting things I have tried and almost thrown up attempting to shovel into my mouth. So, to clarify, I will point out that my diet has consisted of meat, eggs, dairy (though milk sugar intake has been measured and restricted), fish, walnuts, pecans, herbs and spices, incidental vegetables (such as those required for recipes), and occasional desserts (in small portions - I do not have the power to deny my sweet tooth).

What I want to do is share the true, unadulterated, meatetarian experience -- the theory behind it, the cuisine, the bowel movements, the numbers, what's fun and what sucks, and why I think you should try it. Also, in my own anti-hipster way, I want you to know a little bit about me, and why I'm not really that unique, and why I think it's so wrong for people to want to be so.

I also want to share my food adventures for the week. I experimented with butter sauces this week... I tried to make a beurre rouge, but didn't have any red wine and didn't reduce the vinegar enough, so my sauce ended up thin and runny and white. I also tried to make a bearnaise but the recipe I had sucked and I was out of shallots. Lastly I tried marrow in two forms - one of which made me gag uncontrollably and the other fueled my desire - details to follow at some further date -- hopefully with redemption.

Lastly, I want to leave you with my inspiration (I mean, aside from all those fucking hipsters)...
http://www.jbc.org/content/87/3/651.full.pdf+html

And a brief rundown of the day's dietary input/output:
INPUT
Breakfast: 4 ounces 2% milk, vitamin D, multivitamin
Midmorning: 12 oz breve late
Lunch: 6 scrambled eggs in butter and bacon fat with bearnaise sauce (I effed it up), 2 slices bacon, 4 ounces 2% milk
Afternoon snack: handful of walnuts, half of one nutter butter cookie
Dinner: 1 glass of Cabernet, 4 large barbecued pork ribs, 1 barbecued Italian sausage
Dessert: Half a small block of Irish white cheddar (SOFAKING GUD)... 3 more glasses of cabernet...

A fair amount of water throughout the day - total amount unknown.

OUTPUT (I'm going to include this even though it's gross because it surprised even me -- I didn't expect a diet without fiber to be functional, let alone comfortable but I have had little to no problems)
One bowel movement midmorning - nothing abnormal.

Anyway, this is probably something you've never heard of, so I hope it's, like, an eye-opening experience for you, or something... Like reading Pascal for the first time -- but you've probably never heard of him... All hipster jokes aside, I hope you enjoy my story and find it educational as well as entertaining.